No matter how much you do, it’s never enough.
You’re doing all this for your family. Why do you feel like an outsider in your own home? You want to feel loved, respected and wanted, without constantly having to prove your worth.
One Decision + 3 Relationship Ratios Pillars + The Pause.
Start with Chapter Zero. Build your nervous system capacity. Do your first relationship workout.
See the result tonight.
You’ve done enough guessing.
Know your next move.
When another conversation goes sideways, working harder isn’t the answer. See what’s happening between you, steady yourself and know what to do next.
Read today. Use tonight. Change your relationship. Change your life.
One Decision
Become the partner you want to be. Choose one quality you want to bring into your relationships, then practise it in one action you can take today.
3 Relationship Ratios Pillars
Container, Curiosity and Challenge give you nine relationship dials. Notice where the balance has shifted, then choose one input you can change. You don’t have to work on everything at once.
The Pause · Nervous system capacity
You can know exactly what to say when you’re calm. Being able to say it when you’re hurt or defensive takes practice.
Nine nervous system pause drills help you build the capacity to feel anger, fear or discomfort and still have room to listen, speak and choose.
Pause: create time. Pivot: choose your response. Presence: stay available, including when love is offered.
Your first workout
Bring the decision, the ratios and the pause into one situation from your own life. Four questions and a three-day workout give you a complete beginning you can return to.
Have you ever been the most self-aware person in the room, and still the loneliest? Me too. For about twenty years.
I’m a performance coach for happy relationships and a certified Lumina Spark practitioner. I learned relationship coaching tools at the Gottman Institute and spent years studying human behaviour with Dr. John Demartini.
I began performance coaching in 2015 after leaving the security guarding business, where I had signed dozens of deals and managed sites with almost 1,000 employees. So I know what it feels like to be brilliant at the hard things, and still find relationships hard.
Self-awareness gave me a front-row seat to my own struggles. I needed a way to put that understanding into practice.
I created the system and wrote the book I once needed. The Relationship Gym is where we build muscle instead of fixing what isn’t broken.
Today I’m giving you the book for free. Start with Chapter Zero, put your first relationship workout into action tonight.
Hi, I’m Anna Shilina
You’ve built a life that looks right from the outside.
And some nights you lie inches from the person you love, feeling completely alone.
You’re brilliant at almost everything.
This is the one thing you haven’t been able to figure out, which is its own particular kind of pain.
You keep having the same fight.
Different night, same script, and you can watch it happening while it happens.
You’re quietly afraid of becoming one of your parents.
And some nights you hear them come out of your mouth.
You did the thing you promised you wouldn’t do again.
And afterwards, in the quiet you couldn’t outrun or outwork, something asked: is this just who I am?
peace. power. play.
client success
Change your relationship. Change your life.
Leave your email to receive the book. Bring one real situation with you.
You can begin before your partner agrees to join you. If you’re single, practise in the relationships you already have.
Want the cheatsheet and teaching audio walkthrough too? Explore the US$17 toolkit →